What should you do about office romances?

With a whopping average of 90,000 hours of our lifetime spent in work, it’s hardly surprising that office romances occur when most of us are spending more time with colleagues than our friends and family. A Viking study reports that 74% of office workers aged between 25 and 34 said they have been involved in an office romance. The majority of them would consider doing so again, even though they felt that it impacted work:

• 53% would consider a relationship with a colleague in the future
• 29% have had a one-night stand with a co-worker
• 52% believe office romance decrease productivity and creativity

Our top tips for handling office romance:

Check the company’s Office Relationship Policies

Check to see if your company has any policies on Office Relationships and, if so, what they say. If the Policy strictly forbids relationships between co-workers, then there’s your answer. Many companies have hard rules against relationships and breaking these could result in sanctions and even job loss.

“Employers have been urged to think carefully about how they manage romantic relationships in the workplace, following the news that McDonald’s had fired its CEO for breaching its policies after undertaking a relationship with a colleague.

“Experts said that, while workplace romances could cause problems for businesses, they should be viewed as a fact of working life and HR professionals dealing with the topic needed to balance employees’ rights to a private life with the broader interests of the business.  They also suggested that in most cases that did not involve such an influential and high profile individual, it could be difficult to justify terminating employment for conducting a relationship with a colleague.”

Even if relationships are allowed, be discreet and prepare for consequences. 3 in 10 people said they felt judged by their colleagues, more than half (51%) felt that office gossip added pressure to their relationship, a quarter said that they experienced jealousy, 1 in 6 said people made fun of them, and 11% disclosed that they felt discriminated against.

Be very, very certain before you start an office romance

As with any relationship, ensure that you have a connection worth pursuing. Especially in the case of office romance where its more than just your love life at stake. Are you bonding over a project requiring late nights at work and shared frustration at a boss, or do you have a real connection with shared interests outside of work? Know the answer with certainty before entering into a relationship that may impact more than just yourself.

Decorum and professionalism, no matter what

Don’t let a romantic relationship affect the quality and efficiency of your work. Bottom line: You don’t have to keep your relationship a secret, but you don’t want to have it so on display that it makes your colleagues uncomfortable. Plus, if there is evidence that an office romance is affecting work, one or both of you may be asked to end your romance or, worse yet, find another job. 

Avoid dating someone in a higher or lower position of seniority

Office politics and hierarchy should be the first thing you think of when considering an office romance. Choosing to date someone at a different seniority level could dramatically affect your salary or movement within the company, as shown in previous example with McDonald’s.

NO PDA

No PDA (Public Displays of Affection), none of it. NONE. This links to point 3, decorum and professionalism always. The same professional behaviour should be shown across interactions with all staff including your significant other.

Relationship issues need to wait until after work

Any personal disagreements should be dealt with outside the office. This is another sign that colleagues will notice, and it may cause suspicion that your relationship is affecting your work.

Plan for the Worst

It may sound a bit negative, but what if the office romance doesn’t work out? Agree at the beginning of the relationship how you will handle a potential breakup. Avoid a messy falling out. It isn’t just you and your partner who are involved, it’s your entire office and the future of the company’s dating policy.

Consider Leaving the Company

You may decide that your new relationship is more important to you than your current job. If the relationship does get serious, one member should strongly consider a new position outside the company. That way, you can separate your career paths from the relationship. 

Office Romances – should they be allowed?

In summary, never assume you have the consent of a colleague to talk or act in an intimate or sexual way with them, whatever the norms of behaviour are in your particular workplace.

Always show respect for personal boundaries and ask for overt permission rather than relying on a lack of protest. 

Similarly, be sure not to ignore your own boundaries if you sense them being invaded. Instead, speak up clearly and confidently. Summon help or leave the scene as quickly as possible if you feel unsafe.