Why a probation period works better when you treat it like a grown-up relationship 

February has a way of making us think about relationships. 

Everywhere you look, there is talk of commitment, compatibility, and knowing when something is worth sticking with and when it really is not. Articles about red flags. Advice on effort versus consistency. Conversations about timing and honesty. 

It turns out probation periods are not that different. 

There is a lot of debate right now about how long probation should be. Three months or six. A practical question on the surface, but one that carries far more weight than many employers realise. 

From January 2027, unfair dismissal rights are due to apply much earlier, and anyone employed six months before that date will already qualify. That means probation decisions made in 2026 matter more than ever. 

But before we jump straight to legislation, it helps to think about something more familiar. 

Think about a new relationship. 

Early days are effort, not evidence 

At the start of any relationship, what you mostly see is effort. 

People show up on their best behaviour. You tell your friends how promising it feels. Small irritations get brushed off because, well, it is early days. 

Work is no different. 

In the first couple of months of a new role, most people are trying hard. They are learning systems, adjusting to expectations, being supported closely and putting in visible effort. What you are seeing is enthusiasm, not consistency. 

That does not mean problems are not there. It just means you do not yet know which ones matter. 

Three months is the deep and meaningful 

Somewhere around the three-month mark, relationships tend to shift. 

This is where the deeper conversations start. Not just how things feel, but how people really deal with pressure, disappointment, boundaries and responsibility. 

In the workplace, this is exactly where a proper probation review should sit. 

At this point, employers should be having honest conversations about what is working, what is not, what good actually looks like, and what needs to change. 

Those conversations should be documented. Not because you are expecting things to go wrong, but because clarity protects everyone. 

Red flags do not always shout 

In relationships, red flags are rarely dramatic at first. 

They are often small things. Patterns you notice but explain away. Comments you dismiss. Behaviour that feels slightly off but not serious enough to challenge yet. 

Workplace red flags can look just as subtle. 

They might show up as defensiveness when feedback is given, repeated lateness with plausible excuses, difficulty taking responsibility, friction with colleagues, or a tendency to blame systems, managers or “how things are done here”. 

On their own, none of these automatically mean someone is the wrong hire. 

But what matters is what happens after they are raised. 

Do things improve. Do the same issues keep resurfacing. Does accountability increase or disappear once the conversation has passed. 

A good probation process gives you the space to observe this without rushing to judgement. 

Why three months is usually not enough 

One honest conversation does not tell you everything. 

In real relationships, you watch what happens next. Do behaviours change. Do apologies turn into action. Does effort become consistent. 

A three-month probation captures the conversation, not the outcome. 

Months four to six are where patterns show themselves 

The months after those deeper conversations are where the truth tends to surface. 

In work terms, months four to six reveal whether feedback sticks, how someone performs without close supervision, how they cope when things get busy or repetitive, and whether standards are maintained over time. 

This is why, for most operational businesses, a six-month probation works better. It allows employers to assess patterns, not just potential. 

Six months only works with regular check-ins 

A longer probation does not mean going quiet and hoping for the best. 

Think of it like a relationship again. One serious conversation followed by silence rarely ends well. 

A well-run probation includes early informal check-ins, a documented review around three months, follow-up conversations tracking progress, clear notes and agreed actions, and no surprises at the end. 

Documentation here is not about being heavy-handed. It is about shared understanding and memory, especially when time has passed or pressure increases. 

Knowing when red flags become deal-breakers 

Some red flags fade once expectations are clear. Others do not. 

A six-month probation is not a commitment to tolerate behaviour that is clearly not acceptable. In relationships, staying despite repeated warning signs rarely leads to a healthy outcome. 

Work should be no different. 

If it becomes clear that expectations are fundamentally misaligned, behaviour is unacceptable, feedback is not being taken on board, or the role simply is not the right fit, ending probation early can be the fairest option for everyone. 

Dragging things out when the outcome is already obvious helps no one and can increase risk on both sides. 

What matters is that the decision is based on evidence, explained clearly, and properly recorded. 

The final review should feel like confirmation 

If probation has been managed well, the final review should not feel like a confrontation. 

This is why holding the final probation meeting around two weeks before the six-month mark works so well. By then, expectations should already be clear, concerns should have been raised and documented, and the employee should know exactly where they stand. 

It avoids rushed decisions and last-minute panic, which is often where problems begin. 

Why this matters even more now 

As unfair dismissal rights move closer to the start of employment, tribunals will not be interested in whether probation was three months or six. 

They will look at when concerns were raised, whether feedback was honest, whether the employee had a genuine chance to improve, and whether the decision made sense based on the evidence. 

A structured six-month probation with regular, documented conversations is far easier to defend than a rushed decision or a silent one. 

The real takeaway 

Probation is not about dragging things out, and it is not about avoiding difficult conversations. 

It is about giving both sides enough time to see the full picture, paying attention to red flags without overreacting, and having the confidence to walk away when it is clearly not working. 

Just like relationships, the healthiest outcomes come from clarity, communication and consistency. 

And in probation, documentation is what turns those conversations into protection.